20: j.a.

20: j.a., 2008

cotton, by the mountain goats
good fucking song
it came on the other day, about six years after i’d forgotten it
confession: i turned it down the first time
my cousin’s house
then went back and smoked it after
pretended i was in love with the faux fur rug
she taught me how to do scacazzo
nose breakers; shit eaters, little puffs of smoke
shotgunned up the nose
and then i was stoned
and then i called- i watched the embers in the grill go,
but i lost my real virginity to you, my love
outside on the back deck
senior year
you’d never smoked before, and
it was an unseasonably warm day, i had the shittiest seeds
and rolling papers
purchased at the gas station across from theatre practice along with arizona iced tea
a lottery ticket
if i could pretend my fate lay in a lucky dip
instead of college applications,
trust funds,
if i could smoke while our family dog yowled inside,
if i could show you something new


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