What I want to do is crack my knuckles and hit draft, say-
dear small red boy,
there are so many trans kids in love right now, there are so many things they’ll do. Graduate Harvard. Practice law. Write screen plays, buy art, get beautiful, write and write and write,
and here I am, I’m not stuck, cigarettes and candy,
I’m not stuck.
But I’m past a point, so to speak.
I’m sorry I reverse-searched,
I’m sorry I looked at your story,
I’m sorry I struck wonder into the heart of the person I love by asking,
“Was it weird? Seeing an ex have a relationship?”
It’s not weird for people who have moved forward.
In case you were wondering.
Listen to me, as much as you can
From wherever you are, I’m sitting on a couch
My partner’s parents bought
Drinking a beer that tastes like
Thick fresh weed and bitter fruits on the tip of my tongue.
My replacement cat looms,
There is nothing wrong with the choices that we’ve made.
When I think to myself about Ibsen,
Receding, receding, different tides and different moons,
I realize this is the price we pay for lying
through our teeth.
you know I’m not gonna write that letter,
I don’t even use that
address, not since
they shuttered backpage,
killed the missed connections.
Now I buy my boats on Facebook and I get home at five.
if I could guess the password
if I could stop looking
This is the price we pay for using our teeth.